Philosophical Candy


Halloween is coming around again, that time of year where we have fun making things extra scary. But hasn’t this past year been frightening enough?

So I don’t think we need to discuss, as we have in previous years, the causes of deaths of philosophers, scary philosophical ideas, philosophy horror films, or philosophers’ scary nicknames. And since we won’t be attending any big Halloween parties, we won’t need to think about which philosophy ideas make for good costumes or what the Halloween costumes of famous philosophers should have been. So what’s left?

Well what about the nice part of Halloween? That’s right, the candy. Between the coronavirus and a close election we could all use a bit of the “treat” part of “trick or treat”, no?

So for Halloween this year, philosophers, our task is this: create candies based on philosophers or philosophical ideas, give them good names that sufficiently allude to said philosophers or ideas while also being a good candy name, and describe them for us.

To get things started:

Kit-Kant – It’s like a Kit-Kat, but instead of four pieces it has enough so that everyone can take one.

Here are a couple of others:

‘Carties – Tiny pieces of fruit-flavored wax that you can squeeze, stretch, and melt all you want—they’ll still be wax! Yum!

GEMmies – Hard candies that are so good, you’ll intend to eat them all, but not to have none left.

Have at it, philosofriends…

Subscribe
Notify of
guest

28 Comments
Oldest
Newest Most Voted
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
Pete Mandik
3 years ago
David Boonin
David Boonin
3 years ago

Thomson’s Life Savers — you can give them out as a treat but no one has a right to them.

grad student
grad student
3 years ago

Adorn-O’s: Administering the wrong life one gummy at a time!

grad student
grad student
Reply to  grad student
3 years ago

Or, alternatively… Ador-No’s: Determinate negation with every bite!

David Boonin
David Boonin
3 years ago

Sartre Patch Kids — kind of sweet, kind of sour, and very hard to digest.

Malcolm Keating
Malcolm Keating
3 years ago

I posted this on Twitter, but I’ll reproduce it here, too:

Śrīharṣa’s Khaṇḍanakhaṇḍakhādya is literally the “Sweets (khaṇḍa-khādya) of Refutation (khaṇḍana).” Its sound in Sanskrit is a bit like chewing up and spitting out, so to preserve the alliteration, you might take it loosely as “The Candy Crunch of Criticism.”

D J Shuck
D J Shuck
3 years ago

AyerHeads — Can’t say whether they’re good or bad, but they’ll have you expressing some feelings

Nicolas Delon
3 years ago

FruitFoot — get a kick of pure natural goodness

J
J
3 years ago

Proposed change to Kit-Kants: four formulations in one supreme bar!

Alan White
Alan White
3 years ago

Mary’s Red Hots–Frankly, best enjoyed in the dark!

Brian Cutter
Brian Cutter
3 years ago

Mr. Goodman – they’re delicious and eaten before time t, or disgusting and eaten after t

Kevin DeLapp
Kevin DeLapp
3 years ago

Reeces Peirces: they come in packs of three and they determine the way they’re pictured on the wrapper.
M & E’s: they have a hard outer shell that many softer “Continental” candies lack.

Scott Looney
Scott Looney
3 years ago

TwiXYZ
Qualitatively identical to the name brand ones.

Daniel Muñoz
Daniel Muñoz
3 years ago

Baby Ruth Changs. Perfect if you have a sweet tooth that’s insensitive to mild sweetening.

Daniel Munoz
Daniel Munoz
Reply to  Daniel Muñoz
3 years ago

Almost forgot PortmOreos—double stuffed with whatever ultimately matters.

Brian Cutter
Brian Cutter
3 years ago

John Stuart Mill-ky Way – experience a qualitatively higher pleasure

Chris
Chris
3 years ago

Chal-Mars Bar: physically identical to a Mars bar, but tastes like nothing at all.

Karl
Karl
3 years ago

GobsPoppers – each box contains dozens of candies, including one horrible tasting one — just to prove that the others are delicious.

Robert
Robert
3 years ago

Lockey Pops – like a Jolly Rancher but with Good & Plenty for others

a grad student
a grad student
3 years ago

ButterSinger: if you don’t give it to someone who doesn’t have one, you’re doing it wrong.

a grad student
a grad student
Reply to  a grad student
3 years ago

Husserl’s Kisses: intended to produce phenomenal gustatory experiences.

Christopher Hitchcock
3 years ago

I had a student that baked Gettier cookies for the class. They had carob (fake chocolate) chips on the outside, and real chocolate chips hidden inside.

David Wallace
3 years ago

Rather than follow ad hoc individual recommendations like this, I prefer to get a Philosophical Gourmet Candy Box.

Neil
Neil
3 years ago

These may not be the best of all possible biscuits, but they are rather good and genuinely named after Leibniz.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Leibniz-Keks

Regina Imbsweiler
Regina Imbsweiler
Reply to  Neil
3 years ago

They ARE the best of all possible cookies!

Grad Student4
Grad Student4
3 years ago

Taurek’s Life Savers– Hog them all for you and your friends!

Tropey Tropes
Tropey Tropes
3 years ago

Heraplem and Boanerp: They’re *particularly* tasty!

Mate Penava
1 year ago

IMPLI-candies: you cannot eat the first and not the secind one