The Chronicle of Higher Education reports on a recent twitter tag: #RuinADateWithAnAcademicInFiveWords. There are a few philosophers chiming in. One of the best so far: @Ethicistforhire with “Doesn’t science make philosophy obsolete?”
I think this calls for a Ruin A Date With A Philosopher in 5 Words thread.
“The problem with philosophy is…”
Who reads Hegel any more?
Philosophy? I’m into Ayn Rand.
Let me see your hands
“So what is your philosophy?”
“That’s just true for you.”
Are you analyzing me now?
“Well, it’s all relative anyway.”
What does a philosopher actually do?
“That’s only true for you.”
“Truth with a capital T”
You walk on slippery rocks?
“Philosophy? That’s like magic, right?” (I actually got this once…)
“I love reading Daily Nous.”
“Especially the pseudonymous comments there”
Why are you into witchcraft?
And You’re Supposedly A Psychologist
“I loved psychology in college”
No thanks, I don’t drink.
But that begs the question…
So, what’s it all about? (A cabdriver once asked Bertrand Russell this)
“I’m a professional philosopher, too!”
“What’s the meaning of life?”
“I’m just playing devil’s advocate…”
“Really? Tell me your sayings!”
“You’re in private practice, right?”
I thought you’d be weirder.
“The study of fossils, right?” (Yes, someone did actually say this to me once.)
So, you’re a barista, then?
“So you’re a preacher, right?”
Everyone is a philosopher, kinda
You better be absolutely sure.
“My personal philosophy is _______________.”
Let’s talk about Žižek’s latest!
“Cool, I’m an atheist too.”
There’s this joke about Kant (fill in whatever philosopher comes to mind that you actually cherish)….
“What ‘research’? You read books!”
“Jesus is my favorite philosopher.”
I am on a spiritual journey.
So are you an adjunct?
That’s defamation per se!
So do you have tenure?
What philosophers do you study/like?
Do you the Philosopher’s Song?
You know the Philosopher’s Song?
“Define ‘sort of a doctor’…?”
“We need a new metablog”
Ethics, that’s what’s missing nowadays…
I’m a big fan of John Protevi!
Wanna join the Genius Project?
Oh, I self-published a book of my own philosophy.