After a number of friends asked me “How do you do it??!!!” referring to my reasonably successful career and home/family life, while having hobbies as well, I wrote the following post: http://diaryofdoctorlogic.blogspot.com/2018/04/how-do-you-do-it.html

There’s a lot of privilege in that post, but I hope at least some take-home advice that is widely applicable. (Some is much less applicable, like “marry a supportive partner and have a baby”!)

If I had to say the two most important things, they are:
1. Set yourself working hours. They needn’t be M-F 9-5, but they shouldn’t be more than ~40 hours a week, except in rare circumstances (by now, I know that my “work hours” mean nothing during grading season; but that makes it all the more important to stick to them other times). Close your email progam when your working hours are done, and don’t open it again until they start again. Philosophy has the ability to fill all the gaps until there is no time left for anything else, so setting boundaries and sticking to them is important.
2. Don’t feel guilty about the above, and make sure you fill at least some of the rest of the hours with things that you find valuable. One would think that with a 40 hour work week, I would have plenty of time to deal with household chores and therefore have an impeccably clean/tidy house. Not so. Instead, I use the time I’m not working (and could use cleaning/tidying) to read novels, write fiction, paint, watch bad TV, take baths.

My life is by no means stressless, but it’s way less stressful than many of my colleagues’, and sticking to the two above contribute tremendously to that.

I’ll share my own story and a bit of advice you’ve probably heard before.

While I think the time management/stick-to-working hours advice is good, I cannot do it. Once I get going, on, say, paper writing, I simply cannot stop. Grading is perhaps a different issue. So for work-life balance, I’ve found a hobby I’m passionate about (almost as much as the philosophy): bike racing on a velodrome (aka, track cycling). Since I’m passionate about it, I make time for it, which inevitably forces me to stop working on the philosophy at some point. Workouts and races would tank if I was up all night, every night, and I have to get out of the apartment at some point to get to the track! In both my philosophy and racing I look for accomplishments. Once I’ve, say, finished a paper or hit a new PR on the track, then I let myself rest and take a few days off. The end result is a pretty good work-life balance where I get physical activity which helps my mental (and physical) health, both in a variety of ways. I feel like I’m constantly moving towards and (usually) accomplishing goals.

Another benefit of a serious hobby is that it often comes with a new social circle outside of academics. I’ve really appreciated my cycling friends.

I discovered track cycling right after I finished the PhD, as I was dealing with the realities of the job market (so, 3 years ago). I should mention that before that I spent my last year or two of the program trying to find a physical hobby that worked for me. I tried running, for example. Like many people, before that I did therapy and the usual stuff to deal with the mental-health side of things. I think most people would be helped by therapy for a few years, especially at the start of grad school when you’re just finding yourself.

So I guess my advice on the work-life balance is, if you can’t break your bad academic work-hour habits, find a hobby you’re passionate about that you’ll make time for.

The other advice people have probably heard before is that intense cardiovascular exercise is amazing for mental health, if you’re capable of doing it. A 45-min spin class, a 30-min run, or an hour or two on a bike with a decently high average heart rate creates a lot of endorphins.

Find a psychiatrist and therapist (ideally in the same person) early on. Often it seems people think you should only see a professional if you’re at the absolute breaking point. But that’s just not true. Going earlier can help you avoid the kind of extreme situations that make functioning at all a real challenge.

And talk to friends. The only way to avoid feeling alienated from others during these times is by taking the risk and sharing what’s going on with them. And if you can find a friend that will always make herself available to talk to you, support you, etc. – value that friendship.

Finally, taking prescription drugs is not a bad thing. Like for me, it can potentially save your life.

Not much to add to the above advice, which is truly excellent (especially the combination of exercise, time management/limiting work hours, and getting a therapist). I’m glad that this is being discussed openly in a high-exposure forum.
Some further “meta” suggestions to senior philosophers and philosophers with secure employment:
– Consider being vulnerable about your own struggles in this area to more junior folks. (And thank you to commenters above who fit that description!) Sometimes, naming to others what we experience in solitude takes away some of its stigma, and creates opportunities for solidarity, which is its own kind of good.
– Make it clear that well-rounded human flourishing takes priority over being a superstar philosopher, and give permission for junior folks to organize their professional commitments accordingly.
– If an otherwise promising junior person is encountering non-academic obstacles (physical or mental health, child/elder care, divorce/custody issues, financial challenges, etc.), use the resources and influence at your disposal to support them. If it’s possible for you to, e.g., convince a chair or dean to grant a leave of absence without penalty in a way that maintains their health coverage, do so. Stay in touch with them during that time to communicate care and concern, and offer on-ramps back to full functioning without stigma or shame.